Speak up, have empathy and give feedback.
By Assertive Way
My team and I were in charge of setting the detailed revenue targets for the company, reporting them and getting buy-in from senior stakeholders. I was usually not invited to the various meetings with C-suite about the revenue targets. Those were led by my boss who said it was easier to negotiate with the least amount of people in these meetings.
I know my boss wouldn’t mention me or my team in these meetings. However, I didn’t expect him to do so either. If he got questions he couldn’t answer, he’d bring them to us after the meeting, we’d work on them and he’d get back to the C-suite with the answers.
Sometimes, he copied me in the email exchanges. Sometimes, he would have me email the C-suite the updated presentation. Sometimes, he brought me in to the meetings as a backup to clarify any question that he couldn’t answer.
I knew that despite my boss not giving me verbal credit for our work, having my name float around in email exchanges and being present in certain meetings got me associated with the work. However, that was not the case of my team who were working on the various elements of the revenue targets.
I knew that despite my boss not giving me verbal credit for our work, having my name float around in email exchanges and being present in certain meetings got me associated with the work.
Here are a few things to consider when dealing with a credit stealing boss in a meeting.
Don’t act impulsively
Here’s what not to do unless you want to get fired or lose credibility:
- Don’t get into a fight with the boss in front of others
- Don’t put wrong information in the presentation to make your boss look bad
- Don’t blame the boss
Find out if it is intentional or not
The credit stealing boss or the boss that doesn’t recognize the team’s work publicly can be acting intentionally or non-intentionally. It usually takes deliberate action to recognize the team’s efforts when the team is not present.
The first step is to find out if the boss is acting intentionally or not. This allows you to look at the issue from the perspective of your boss.
The boss may not be comfortable interrupting the flow of a meeting to acknowledge the team. Is your boss a rather quite introverted type or extroverted talkative type? Is the boss dealing with people significantly above their level? Or is the boss acknowledging you in a different context or indirect manner such as through emails?
In the meeting
If you get too angry or upset when your boss takes credit for your work, then don’t do anything during the meeting. Calm down first. If you can manage the anger and frustration and you did the work, you probably know some details about the work that your boss doesn’t.
Here is a more subtle strategy you can use during the meeting: contribute these additional details instead of staying quiet. This will show others you were part of the work without having to tell them. At the same time, you avoid directly challenging your boss in front of others.
If you want someone in particular to know you’ve done the work, you can also approach them after the meeting with questions or comments that demonstrate you were part of the work.
After the meeting
Right after the meeting, take notes of date, meeting topic, who was in the meeting, and more importantly, what your boss actually said.
“Taking the credit of your work” is your interpretation of the situation. It expresses judgement and it assumes your boss did something wrong intentionally.
In reality, your boss might be unaware of what he/she did and unaware of the consequences of that action, even if this behavior is recurrent.
The only way to shift this pattern is to give your boss specific feedback about it. Yes, its ok for you to give unsolicited feedback to your boss. If you do it right, your boss might even respect and trust you more afterwards because you demonstrated honesty, courage, poise and respect.
Give your boss feedback
Show your boss what he/she said and how it made you feel and how it impacts your work. That way you are not blaming your boss directly, but you are explaining the impact of his/her action on you.
After the meeting, schedule a one to one conversation with your boss. Don’t wait too long though, otherwise your boss might forget about the incident altogether.
You can say something like: “on x date we were in a meeting with x people and I observed you said x. This made me feel underappreciated because I felt others in the room didn’t realize my contribution to that work. It is also easier to work with others when they know I’ve been involved”.
Notice in the proposed answer above you don’t state “YOU did this or that”. Instead you focus on your feelings and on your perspective. This keeps the conversation open, non-judgmental and safe.
Observe how your boss responds
Pause and wait for your boss’s response. If he/she doesn’t say anything then you can ask him/her to clarify their perspective. You could ask “did you realize that happened?”. Give them a chance to take in the information you are sharing.
Your boss is likely to respond saying he/she didn’t even notice what happened in the meeting and that he/she is sorry he/she came across that way. If your boss has any information you are not aware of that justifies his/her behavior, then your boss might share what with you.
Ask
If your boss doesn’t offer a solution to the problem, then make your ask “I’d really appreciate it if you could mention my contribution to the work done in meetings. Is that something you’d be willing to do?”. Come up with an agreement on how to proceed going forward. Then, if the credit taking happens again it will be easier to bring it up the next time.
Evaluate their response
If your boss demonstrates no empathy for the situation and doesn’t offer any explanation, then you probably have a pretty bad boss who you’d be better off without. Be thankful for having the opportunity to learn these important insights about how your boss responds to your requests and supports your career growth. That way you can better plan your future career.
Be thankful for having the opportunity to learn these important insights about how your boss responds to your requests and supports your career growth
SUMMARY
If your boss takes credit for your work, first find out if they are acting intentionally or not. Then, wait until your emotions are under control. If you are in a meeting, share additional details about the work to demonstrate indirectly that you worked on it. After the meeting take note of the specific facts about the credit stealing. With that information, tell your boss exactly what happened, how it made you feel and the impact on the job. But don’t make any judgement or blame. Then, wait for your boss to respond. If they don’t offer a solution, you can offer a solution and ask them if they’d be willing to do it. Then observe how your boss responds to your chat overall. It could give you important insight on how willing the boss is to support your career growth.
ADDITIONAL POSTS
For more articles on how to manage a difficult boss visit these posts:
“One can steal ideas but no one can steal execution or passion.” – Tim Ferriss, Author of “The 4-hour Workweek”