How did you find the courage?
By Assertive Way
Think about the first time you spoke up for something that you believed in. Now think about what got you to speak up? Where did the courage to speak up openly about something that wasn’t right you come from?
And it doesn’t have to be a Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi moment. It can be something small, but significant to you.
But there was nothing shy about the long-winded article. It was bold and controversial.
The first time I spoke up
Last week my mother found the proof of the very first time I spoke up publicly for what I believed in, for something bigger than myself.
The proof of the first time I spoke up was a 4-page article in tiny letters that I published in our college magazine during my sophomore year. Writing was certainly easier for me than speaking directly to people.
I grew up as an incredibly shy girl who couldn’t stand eye contact from strangers and wouldn’t ever raise my hand in school or college to ask a question in front of a class of 40 students.
But there was nothing shy about the long-winded article. It was bold and controversial. I openly disagreed with a lot of what I saw happening on campus.
And I was petrified with the response the community might have. Surprisingly, some people told me they liked and agreed with my thoughts. The haters never showed up.
I was petrified with the response the community might have. Surprisingly, some people told me they liked and agreed with my thoughts. The haters never showed up.
What I spoke up for
I openly and strongly criticized the hazing culture, the drinking, the rituals, the lack of common sense or practical critical thinking, the distorted values, and the limited extent of students’ code of ethics.
I talked about the importance of freedom of expression and forgiveness. I offered an alternative to the current hazing culture.
Then I spoke to the values of Einstein, Buddha, and Gandhi. I made analogies between our internal problems with modern slavery, modern Roman coliseum practices, suicides, homicides, victimization, and Hitler.
At the end I invited other students to challenge my thoughts and said that if they spoke up then I would have considered my article successful because that was my goal.
The source of courage
Where did the courage to write such an honest expression of my thoughts come from? I was incredibly awkward and shy back then.
It came from the emotional pain I felt in my first year in college (I felt disrespected). The school was great academically, but the student dorm culture was incredibly frustrating as a young woman.
I went to an engineering school where most students lived in the dorms within the campus. Less than 10% of the students were women.
When I got to sophomore year, I couldn’t believe that my class was replicating the terrible rituals and hazing culture that they had been victim of the year before.
I wanted them to see an alternative that no one was talking about. I had to speak up. I didn’t want more students to endure what I strongly believed was a senseless culture.
The courage to face my deepest fears came from an unwavering desire to change things for the better, so that future students could have a more positive experience in that school.
Recently I learned that things have indeed changed a lot and that my hopes for the students in that school have become reality.
The courage to face my deepest fears came from an unwavering desire to change things for the better.
How it makes you feel
How did you feel when you spoke up for something you believed in for the first time?
I feet incredibly proud of the 18-year-old girl who spoke up for others and for what she believed in despite not knowing what the consequences could be for her.
It taught me an important lesson. You may think you are speaking up on your own, but you aren’t. When you speak up for what you believe in, you will attract people with a similar vision who may not have had the courage or opportunity to speak up in the same way as you did.
You will give them a voice thorough your own voice. And many haters will silence or just distance themselves. Some haters may even change their thinking a little bit. Both believers and haters may respect you more for it.
That single experience also built my confidence tremendously and helped shape my identity as someone who will speak up when I feel like I should.
Conclusion
The proudest moments in your life are sometimes the most courageous ones. If it is easy it doesn’t make us very proud. Embrace your courage to speak up for what you believe in.
According to positive psychology, true happiness comes from serving others in a meaningful way. When you speak up for others you are serving others.
The world needs to hear more of the silent but thoughtful and kind voices out there. Find the courage and tenacity to share yours.
SUMMARY
Here are some questions for you to reflect on. Recall the first time you spoke up publicly for something that you believed in. How did you summon the courage to do it? How did others react? What did you feel right after you spoke up? What did you learn from the experience? How did it change you?
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Martin Luther King