Like many, I learned the importance of being assertive with my money by making financial mistakes or almost making big mistakes.

Earlier in my career, a female financial advisor with whom I had a lot in common with offered to help me with investments.

She was very flexible and came meet me in my company within my availability several times. She didn’t charge me anything for these conversations and was always very kind and warm. She dressed and spoke in a very professional and respectable way. I felt heard and understood by her.

She learned about my financial situation and created a financial plan for me with investment recommendations. The profile investment that she recommended seemed too good to be true. She said that she invested in the same place. The graphs she showed me seemed really attractive.

Raise suspicion.

I started to be suspicious that something was off with that investment. So, I asked questions to try to find out the “catch” such as high fees. She kept reassuring me there was nothing wrong with the investment.  I asked her about her commissions, and she said that she got half of the paid fee as commissions but that the investment was still great.

She sent me the paperwork and I felt pressured by her to sign the papers. She personally emailed or called me every day. I was still uncomfortable, but I felt like she had done so much for me that I didn’t want to be difficult either.

Two weeks later the bank called. They said that since the investment I was committing to was a very large part of my salary, that wanted to make sure I understood what I was getting into.

Learn to be assertive with your personal finances.

I asked the bank the same question that I asked my kind warm financial advisor. And within a simple 1 phrase answer from the bank representative, I immediately understood the “catch”. If I had signed the paper, I as committing to invest and pay the fees for 10 years, irrespective of my income, location, or preferences. There was no cancellation option.

I immediately said NO, I am absolutely NOT interested. I let the bank know that the financial advisor had fooled me into that investment and concealed the consequences. I felt betrayed and furious. I immediately cut my relationship with this fake nice lady.

But I learned my lesson!

When it comes to my personal finances, I need to be very involved, ask many questions, seek advice from more than one person, and be suspicious of anything that looks too easy or too good to be true. Kindness, warmth, confidence, professionalism are not a guarantee of anything.

Here are 8 ways to be more assertive with your personal finances. You can find another 8 ways to be more assertive with your personal finances in this episode here.

1. Ask your bank, accountant, and financial advisor for references and qualifications, even if they get upset.

In the same way you’d probably not hire a doctor with no qualifications to operate your heart, you don’t want to hire anybody to help you manage your money either.

As uncomfortable as it may feel, you are better off getting the qualifications and credentials of your financial advisors before engaging with them, then to regret the loss of all of your hard-earned savings later.

2. Initiate purposeful money conversations with colleagues, family, and friends in a non-taboo way.

Money is a taboo topic just like religion and politics. However, in some situations and in a tactful and purposeful way, it is possible to derive a lot of value by talking about money with the right people.

If you don’t bring it up, it is unlikely others will.

• You don’t need to ask, “How much do you make?”, but you can ask colleagues about company benefits and how they get access to it or recommendations on how to negotiate compensation.
• You can ask HR about job position salary ranges so that you know where you are positioned.
• You can ask friends and family for references for accountants, banks, and advisors.

The important consideration when talking about money is to make it intentional, non-judgmental, safe, and to avoid putting people on the spot.

3. Make your own financial decisions instead of allowing others to make them for you.

Clarify your questions before you make any big purchases or other financial decisions. Shop for financial services like you’d shop for a house: do a full due diligence.

When it comes to buying home, car, education, mortgage, insurance, investments, and so on, it is important to be fully informed, have your own perspective, and be involved in the decision making. Do not give away your decision rights!

At the end of the day, all these financial decisions will affect you directly, and you’ll have nobody to blame if things go wrong for you.

4. Be financially informed: know your revenue, expenses, taxes, and investments in detail.

It is almost impossible to build wealth when you don’t know track your financial numbers.

When you don’t know about your sources of revenue, uses of money/ expenses, tax details, asset allocation, investment strategy / individual investments, fees, penalties, terms and conditions, it becomes impossible to make sound financial decisions.

Life, financial needs, and financial markets are dynamic. You need to constantly re-assess them to make sure your money is serving you and your family, and that are on track towards your financial goals.

Review your finances every month, quarter, and year to make sure you stay on track with how you want your money to serve your dreams and well-being.

5. Prioritize your money over other people’s money or needs.

I used to tell myself the story that I was too busy with my work and didn’t have the time to pursue investment for my savings or to do the research I needed to confidently make my financial decisions. But I realized it was not true. It just wasn’t a big enough priority at the time.

It was only after I lost a lot of money that personal finances became a priority. You don’t need to wait for financial disaster before prioritizing your personal finances. Do it now, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t tell yourself you don’t have time to manage your money. If you are spending your time helping others and your financial situations is a mess, it may be time to refocus some of that time and energy from others to your personal finances.

6. Say no to financial commitments that you can’t make in the moment (even donations!).

Maybe you’re making big yearly donations to organizations when you can’t even pay your bills, when you aren’t contributing a minimum of 10% of your income to retirement, or when you haven’t paid off all your taxes and debt.

Donations are a wonderful thing, but not when you are broke or in danger of being broke. In that situation, those donations are often coming from a people-pleasing instinct, the fear of saying no, or an egotistical need to fit in.

When you make donations and contributions on your own terns, without sacrificing yourself, and being smart about the money, then your lifetime donations be larger and more meaningful.

7. Regularly talk about finances with your spouse, even if they don’t want to (it’s worth it!).

“Money is either the best or the worst area of communication in our marriages.” – Larry Burkett

Choose to make it the best area of communication in your marriage! It will save you tremendous frustration and give your family a much better financial situation.

When two people work together towards a better future, align towards common goals, leverage their strengths, and help each other overcome their limitations, they are a lot more likely to achieve their big dreams including financial ones without making too many sacrifices.

My parents have very different money management personalities, but it is when they unite their views that they make their best financial decisions.

Make it a financial monthly date night, bring some fun to it, discuss future plans, savings, how your net worth has grown, celebrate, and important financial things to get in order. These money conversations will bring you closer together. Make it a joint ritual, and it will pay off big time!

8. Have financial goals instead of allowing others to push their own goals on you.

It is difficult to assert your financial questions and needs when you don’t have a roadmap, goals, and a plan. Invest time in creating clarity around your finances.

Did you like these tips? Which one do you want to implement this week?

CLICK HERE to find out another 8 ways to be more assertive with your personal finances.

To learn more about how to confidently and effectively handle hard conversations in an assertive way, visit https://www.assertiveway.com.