What is assertiveness and how can it be used?
Key Takeaways
- Assertiveness is a skill that can be learned.
- Assertiveness is never rude or aggressive.
- Assertiveness can be used to speak up, advocate, negotiate, give and receive feedback, say no, etc.
- Assertive communication is effective, respectful, and confident.
Many people work on presentation skills and social skills which are important and helpful, but very few people ever learn assertive communication, which is the skill that will get you ahead, give agency, and build confidence the fastest. Why? because it’s the skill of speaking up to get what you want or is needed.
What is assertive communication skill?
Assertiveness is how you:
- Communicate and interact with confidence, intention, and respect.
- Say what you mean in a direct, no-nonsense, and kind way.
- Confidently express yourself thoughtfully, respectfully, and purposefully without anxiety and in an effective way.
- Speak up politely without omission.
In what situations can assertive communication be used?
Assertiveness is used expressing and defending the needs, desires, rights, ideas, goals, aspirations of yourself, your team, and your organization.
For example when you speak up, advocate for something or someone, negotiate, ask, say no, disagree, deal with interruptions, claim your rights, and more.
What are the elements of assertive communication?
- Effectiveness (which involves directness and positive psychology)
- Respect and consideration for others (but NOT people-pleasing.)
- Confidence (so that you don’t feel afraid, nervous, or anxious about it.)
Does assertiveness make me rude?
Assertiveness by definition is about being respectful. Assertiveness is the secret to balance being:
- Powerful and liked.
- Direct and caring.
- Demanding and thoughtful.
Is assertiveness a personality inherited trait or a learnable skill?
Most of assertiveness is a skill because it can be studied, trained, developed, and implemented by learning the strategies, techniques, and mindsets of assertiveness.
Who is assertiveness for?
Assertive communication is crucial for anyone who wants to grow and be effective.
However it is especially important for those who need to be extra careful in how they express themselves and who want to make sure they are perceived positively.
Assertiveness is an even more powerful tool for:
- Women in male-dominated industries
- Women in management and leadership
- Minorities
- Immigrants
- Young leaders in older industries
- Introverts
If you want to learn how to be more assertive without being rude, check out this 30 min free training.
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“Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are.” – Shakti Gawain