Explore the power of introverted leadership through deeper connections, navigating conflicting feedback, and staying authentic.

Here are some key insights from this podcast interview:

Importance of Authentic Connections:

Sabrina emphasized the value of building authentic work relationships. As an introvert, she initially found it challenging but learned to connect with colleagues and stakeholders genuinely, which significantly impacted her career positively.

Navigating Feedback Wisely:

Receiving conflicting feedback, such as being “too soft” and “too assertive”, Sabrina learned to navigate through these messages without losing her authenticity. She emphasized the importance of discerning which feedback aligns with one’s goals and values.

Embrace Authenticity:

Sabrina highlighted the importance of staying true to oneself and not conforming to others’ expectations. Embracing authenticity and values that are important to you can lead to success and satisfaction in your career.

Facing Fears and Discomfort:

Sharing a personal story, Sabrina discussed how facing fears and stepping out of comfort zones can lead to personal and professional growth. For her, actively seeking opportunities to present and articulate ideas was a pivotal part of finding her voice.

Value of Preparation and Practice:

Sabrina shared that she enjoys public speaking now, as long as she is well-prepared. Preparation and practice are crucial for engaging with the audience and drawing energy from them, turning a potential source of anxiety into an enjoyable experience.

Leveraging Unique Knowledge and Expertise:

In male-dominated fields, Sabrina leveraged her unique knowledge and expertise to build credibility. Recognizing and utilizing your unique value can establish you as an expert and lead others to acknowledge your contributions.

Persistence Through Challenges:

Despite facing challenges, including having been a single mother and dealing with discrimination, Sabrina remained persistent and focused on her goals. She emphasized the importance of ignoring “background noise” and concentrating on what truly matters.

Introversion as a Leadership Strength:

Sabrina discussed how being an introvert aided her leadership. Introverts are often observant and excellent listeners, focusing on supporting and growing their team members, which can be advantageous in leadership roles.

Importance of Mentorship and Sponsorship:

Sabrina stressed the invaluable role of mentorship and sponsorship in career development. Having individuals who support your goals can significantly impact your career trajectory.

Advocacy for Self and Others:

As an introverted leader, Sabrina invested energy in advocating for herself and supporting her team members. Advocacy, coupled with a focus on personal and professional development, is crucial for effective leadership and team growth.

 

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT SUMMARY

[00:00:00] Ivna Curi: Today, we’re joined by Sabrina Ratikan, Director of Product Management, Enterprise Technology at Walmart Canada. Sabrina, who identifies as an introvert, has been commendably vocal in her professional journey despite facing criticisms, such as being labeled “too soft”. It’s a pleasure to have you on the show today, Sabrina. Welcome!

[00:00:26] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Thank you, Ivna. I appreciate your invitation and I’m thrilled to be here. I’ve been an avid listener of your podcast episodes during my commutes, and they’ve been truly enlightening. So, thank you for the impactful work you’re doing.

[00:00:45] Ivna Curi: Hearing that certainly warms my heart! Let’s dive into a topic we previously touched upon: the significance of work relationships and connections. Could you share how fostering these connections has led to breakthroughs in your career?

[00:01:03] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Absolutely. To provide a bit of context, as an introvert, initiating connections didn’t come naturally to me. Early in my career, I was primarily execution-focused, paying little attention to building relationships. However, as I progressed, I realized the invaluable role of connections. With the guidance of mentors (whose importance I wasn’t aware of initially), I learned to proactively and authentically build connections, whether through casual coffee chats or deeper engagements with stakeholders. It’s crucial to approach connection-building authentically, without any ulterior motives.

[00:02:56] Ivna Curi: Indeed, the theme of ‘connection’ has resonated in my conversations with various professional women and leaders today. It’s intriguing that you’ve highlighted it as well. But, as an introvert, what challenges did you face in building connections, especially with senior colleagues, and how did you overcome your initial hesitancy and fears?

[00:03:41] Sabrina Ratheenkan: The initial awkwardness was a significant barrier for me. Early on, I often felt inadequate and struggled to find common ground with everyone, making the process even more daunting.

[00:04:03] Ivna Curi: That’s a sentiment many can relate to, Sabrina. Another issue you mentioned, which is quite common among women, is being perceived as “too soft”. Could you delve into the circumstances that led a male leader to label you as such, and how it impacted you?

[00:04:29] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Certainly. For me, making connections and understanding both the business and stakeholders are pivotal when stepping into a new role. This incident occurred three months into a new position. I was diligently learning about the business and technology while dealing with challenging stakeholders. Despite the tense atmosphere, I empathized with their concerns and probed to understand their grievances. Although I believed the meeting was productive, a male leader later approached me, criticizing me for being “too soft” and lacking assertiveness. This feedback was disconcerting as I had a plan and was building credibility before attempting to influence stakeholders. Assertiveness, in my view, is not merely about vocal dominance but about building trust and credibility, fostering a collaborative approach to problem-solving.

[00:06:42] Ivna Curi: I concur with your perspective on building connections and influencing without resorting to authoritarian tactics. It seems the leader might have misunderstood your initial approach, seeing it as your entire strategy, while you were merely laying the groundwork through empathy and inquiry.

[00:07:26] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Precisely. Feedback is crucial for career growth, but it can also be detrimental if not navigated wisely. After receiving the “too soft” feedback, I found myself second-guessing my approach in subsequent challenging situations. It’s essential for both feedback providers and recipients to be discerning and thoughtful in giving and accepting feedback.

[00:08:29] Ivna Curi: Absolutely. While being open to feedback is important, the decision to implement it ultimately lies with the individual. It’s about discerning which feedback aligns with your goals and strategies. Now, you mentioned receiving conflicting feedback, being told you’re both “too soft” and “too assertive”, among other things. How did you navigate through these conflicting messages?

[00:09:20] Sabrina Ratheenkan: It’s indeed conflicting. I’ve noticed that women often receive such contradictory feedback, which men rarely get. This discrepancy made my journey particularly challenging. I recall an instance where the same individual who previously criticized me for being “too soft” later accused me of being “too assertive”. Upon inquiry, I realized they were focusing on a specific incident without considering the context leading up to it. Early in my career, I tried to conform to others’ expectations, but this approach made me lose my authenticity. I learned that success isn’t about fitting into someone else’s mold. I stopped trying to meet varying expectations and started embracing values important to me, like authenticity and a people-centered approach.

[00:11:56] Ivna Curi: It appears you’ve delved deeply into understanding yourself, Sabrina. You’ve explored your values and what makes you authentic, without feeling ashamed. It’s evident that you’re adept at receiving feedback while discerning what truly applies to you. People often mean well when they offer feedback, but it might not always be beneficial since they don’t fully grasp your perspective, background, or values. You actively engage with questions and introspection to truly comprehend who you are and what matters to you. This internal focus has allowed you to take pride in your identity and maintain authenticity throughout your career growth, fostering a positive self-image and satisfaction in your work.

[00:12:48] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Absolutely, Ivna. Authenticity is indeed central to everything we do in life and our careers. It’s crucial.

[00:12:57] Ivna Curi: Would you say that this process of self-discovery and understanding was how you found your voice amidst conflicting expectations?

[00:13:04] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Reflecting on my journey of finding my voice, I can’t pinpoint a specific moment when it all clicked. It was a gradual process, a journey that everyone undergoes in their unique way. For me, it wasn’t just about finding my voice but realizing the impact I could make with it. This realization was pivotal as it helped me uncover my true purpose. I recall an incident with one of my former coaches, a brilliant, influential woman with whom I initially found little in common. However, during a meeting with agency associates where I struggled with my presentation, she shared a personal story that resonated with me. Her advice to repeatedly face my fears, despite initial failures, profoundly influenced my approach. Since then, I’ve actively sought opportunities to present and articulate my ideas, even if it meant stepping out of my comfort zone. This practice has not only improved my presentation skills but also empowered me to communicate effectively, breaking barriers and finding my voice.

[00:16:08] Ivna Curi: That’s a captivating story, Sabrina. It’s rich with insights and lessons. Your coach’s advice became significantly more impactful once you identified a shared experience. Embracing discomfort and persistently facing what you dread until you master it is a powerful strategy. Now, you even volunteer for speaking engagements, like this podcast. It’s fascinating to see how much you’ve transformed. Do you enjoy public speaking and making presentations now?

[00:17:18] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Interestingly, I do enjoy it now, provided I am well-prepared. Being put on the spot can still be unnerving, but with preparation and practice, I’ve learned to engage with the audience and draw energy from them.

[00:17:41] Ivna Curi: It’s remarkable to witness such a transformation. Earlier, you mentioned experiencing traumas in your childhood that affected various aspects of your life, including your professional journey. Could you share more about these traumas and their impact?

[00:18:00] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Certainly. I was born in Sri Lanka during a civil war, a tumultuous period marked by conflict between the Tamils and the Sinhalese. Being a Tamil, my early years were fraught with danger and uncertainty. My mother and I eventually moved to the city, leaving my father behind temporarily for safety. Growing up as a minority, I often felt inadequate and faced bullying and discrimination. These experiences created a sense of shame and a desire to conceal my identity. As I entered the corporate world, this trauma lingered, influencing my interactions and approach to work. However, with the support of mentors and a willingness to seek help, I’ve been able to overcome these challenges and connect with others in meaningful ways.

[00:20:46] Ivna Curi: The idea of speaking to ten people to find one meaningful connection is insightful. People often expect instant connections, but sometimes it takes engaging with multiple individuals before finding someone who truly resonates with you. This connection can provide the support and understanding needed to facilitate personal and professional growth. I’ve heard similar stories from friends who experienced the war in Sri Lanka. It’s a harrowing experience, and its effects linger. Yet, you’ve been proactive in addressing these issues, seeking help, and making positive changes, which is commendable. As an introvert myself, I understand the challenges. Have you ever felt misunderstood due to your introverted nature?

[00:22:06] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Indeed, there have been misunderstandings. In a world where extroverted leadership often dominates, introverts can be perceived as lacking confidence or competence. We might downplay our achievements and contributions, and in environments with strong personalities, our voices might be drowned out. I’ve experienced this, especially earlier in my career when I was reluctant to present. After being passed over for a position due to my presentation skills, I felt motivated to improve. Each experience, no matter how disheartening, is an opportunity for growth and improvement. With persistence, things do get easier and better over time.

[00:24:24] Ivna Curi: The fact that you were essentially rejected for a position, and then turned that rejection into motivation is quite telling about your character. Most individuals, I believe around 99 percent, would feel utterly defeated in such a scenario, possibly developing an aversion to public speaking or presenting. However, you felt energized and motivated to improve and master the very skill that led to your rejection. Despite knowing that the initial attempts at public speaking would be stressful and anxiety-inducing, possibly affecting your sleep and self-esteem, you persevered until you became comfortable and proficient. I admire your proactive approach and your determination to take charge of the situation.

[00:25:28] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Thank you, Ivna. I observe that many teenagers today, including my introverted son who is an only child, tend to give up quickly and move on to the next thing. However, if something is truly valuable to you, it’s crucial to persist and work on it. For me, improving my voice and presentation skills was vital for my career growth. I had to confront and overcome my fears and insecurities, and I believe everyone should do the same. A single defeat does not signify perpetual failure.

[00:26:14] Ivna Curi: Absolutely. You mentioned the importance of having your voice heard, which can be challenging in a meeting with many loud participants or in environments dominated by extroverted individuals. Can you recall a time when you felt truly heard and respected at work?

[00:26:41] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Certainly. Finding and utilizing my voice was a journey comprised of numerous small incidents that eventually led to me feeling heard. There were times when I would propose an idea, only for someone else to repeat it and receive the credit. This happened frequently in my career, sometimes causing me to remain silent, thinking that perhaps if a male leader articulated the idea more eloquently, it would be accepted. However, during my time in telecommunications, a field dominated by men, I realized I had unique knowledge and expertise. I leveraged this to build credibility, eventually becoming recognized as a subject matter expert. This credibility was crucial when I had to present a technology idea to a room full of directors and board members alongside my male colleagues. Despite the nervousness, I knew I had the most knowledge in the room, which gave me confidence. The presentation was successful, and from that point on, my colleagues and superiors sought my consultation and advice on products and technology.

[00:29:31] Ivna Curi: That’s a powerful story. You identified and embraced your unique value proposition in that room, which not only established you as an expert but also led others to recognize and acknowledge your expertise. This proactive approach truly made a difference.

[00:30:05] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Indeed. Had I not taken the initiative to present, I would have missed the opportunity to showcase my knowledge and skills. Taking the initiative can often lead to surprising and positive outcomes.

[00:30:20] Ivna Curi: Was it challenging to secure the opportunity to present, given that others could have taken the lead?

[00:30:30] Sabrina Ratheenkan: While others possessed knowledge, none had the depth of understanding that I did. Even if a male colleague might have spoken more eloquently, he wouldn’t have been able to provide the detailed and qualitative responses that I could offer due to my technical expertise.

[00:31:02] Ivna Curi: Understood. You mentioned earlier that you used to be a single mother. Did you ever have to advocate for yourself in the professional realm during that time?

[00:31:28] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Yes, I did. As a young mother, I was also pursuing my studies while working diligently. In retrospect, I wish I had spent more time with my son instead of focusing solely on my career. However, at that time, work was a priority as I was the sole provider for my family. I recall an incident when I was hospitalized with dengue fever; even then, I continued working from my hospital bed. My dedication led to promotions and recognition, but some colleagues questioned the merit of my advancements. It was a challenging period, especially when receiving direct, sometimes inappropriate feedback. Despite these challenges, I remained persistent, focused on my core values and passions, and gradually built credibility and delivered visible outcomes. It’s crucial to focus on your goals and ignore the background noise.

[00:33:36] Ivna Curi: It seems like some colleagues believed that as a single mother, you couldn’t possibly contribute as much as a male colleague with a full support system at home. Is that accurate?

[00:34:01] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Yes, that’s correct. I even had people directly question my promotions to my face. Such comments, coupled with the stress of being a young mother, were indeed additional burdens. However, looking back, I see that society has progressed significantly over the past 18 years, providing better support for single mothers. I’m grateful for the ethical practices and support systems in place today that ensure a safer and more inclusive environment for everyone.

[00:34:50] Ivna Curi: Certainly, things have improved. Now, considering your introverted nature, how has this trait strengthened your leadership?

[00:35:09] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Being an introvert has significantly aided my leadership. Introverts tend to be observant and excellent listeners, focusing on people and their growth. I’ve invested my energy in advocating for and supporting my team members, helping them build their personal and professional brands. This focus on people and their development has been a crucial aspect of my leadership style, allowing me to effectively support and grow my team.

[00:36:31] Ivna Curi: That’s a fantastic approach. While extroverts may seek the spotlight, introverts, like yourself, often support others, aiding in their growth and brand development. It seems being an introvert can be advantageous if one remains authentic, focuses on people, and seeks help and mentorship when needed. Your reflective nature and problem-solving skills also appear to be significant assets.

[00:37:47] Sabrina Ratheenkan: I strive to embody all those qualities. As we conclude, I’d like to emphasize the importance of being true to oneself amidst the ever-changing expectations in today’s fast-paced world. Understand and hold onto your core values, and surround yourself with individuals who support your goals. Mentorship and sponsorship are invaluable, and I cannot stress enough their significance in career development. Always focus on your end goals and ignore the distractions.

[00:38:42] Ivna Curi: Beautifully stated, Sabrina. Thank you for sharing your insightful stories and inspiring us to embrace authenticity in our professional journeys.

[00:38:57] Sabrina Ratheenkan: Thank you for having me, Ivna. It’s been a pleasure.