It’s also surprising and overlooked.
By Assertive Way
Taking on martial arts
When I was a child, my father took me to Karate classes. I noticed there were many boys who liked fighting and were excited about using their new kicks and punches. Films and TV shows that displayed martial arts influenced their views on how to use their nascent Karate skills.
However, in the first few classes and in parts of later classes, the Karate Masters, or Sensei as they were called, would spend a long time explaining an important principle that is common across many martial arts modalities like Jiu Jitsu, Karate, Judo, and Kung Fu.
Important but counterintuitive martial arts principle
Sun Tzu’s from “The Art of War” said that “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” It involves strategy and insight not attack and dispute.
They (our karate masters) taught us that we shouldn’t use the skills we were learning to harm others. They explained that with these newly found powers, we had a responsibility of being the role model by avoiding violence and aggression.
Martial arts teaches you the art of self-defense, which gives you a lot of confidence because you know you are better equipped than the majority to deal with altercations or threats. At the same time, they teach you to respect others, even your opponent.
At the same time, they teach you to respect others, even your opponent.
They taught us that our goal was to avoid fights and only use Karate for self-defense. Even in self-defense our aim was to stop the opponent from hurting us, not to hurt them. For example, we learned to immobilize the attacker instead of actively trying to harm them.
What modern day-to-day self-defense looks like
Luckily, most of our day-to-day conflicts with other people don’t involve physical fights and self-defense. Most modern-day workplace conflicts with bosses and colleagues are about handling disrespect, personality differences, or discrimination. Most of those conflicts are solvable through dialogue rather than fights or threats.
Most modern-day conflicts are about handling disrespect, personality differences, or discrimination.
However, the martial arts principle still apply.
For example, when dealing with a workplace conflict, your goal is to avoid violence and aggression.
If you’ve been trained in the right skills to handle conflict, then you will feel confident in solving the problem through appropriate dialogue not aggression.
If you’ve been trained in the right skills to handle conflict, then you will feel confident in solving the problem through appropriate dialogue not aggression.
When people don’t know the self-advocacy skills they need, they are likely to either feel victimized and helpless or to get aggressive and hostile.
Confidently handling everyday conflicts without aggression
Those who have the right skills can confidently handle tricky situations and difficult conversation in a respectful, calm, anxiety free, but highly effective way, like the martial art masters. It also allows for clear thinking without the fog that comes with fear and anger.
Just like martial arts, these self-advocacy skills such as assertiveness take theory and practice to master.
If you want to start to learn some self-advocacy skills to confidently defend yourself at work without being aggressive or rude, just like in martial arts, then check out this 30 min course on “How to Be Assertive At Work.”
Recap
Martial arts teaches you to not use your fighting skills in real life. It teaches to avoid violence and aggression, and still protect yourself and others from harm. Because you have the skills to deal with challenging situations, you can remain calm and think more clearly in the middle of a confrontation.
Just like martial arts, with the right skills you can be calm and think clearly when dealing with a difficult situation or person.
The same in true with workplace conflicts. You can learn to confidently defend yourself and others without resorting to aggression. Just like martial arts, with the right skills you can be calm and think clearly when dealing with a difficult situation or person. Learn the skill that will help you handle workplace conflicts without aggression here.
“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” – Sun Tzu