To succeed as a woman in a male-dominated industry you need to make yourself heard in meetings by building one-on-one rapport and creating stronger transitions to your perspectives.
By Assertive Way
Key Takeaways
- One of the top challenges of working in a male-dominated industry is to make yourself heard in meetings.
- Being smart, having confidence about her intelligence and abilities, and speaking up decisively in meetings were not enough to earn the respect from others at work.
- Build one-on-one rapport and create stronger transitions to your perspectives with questions, “and” transitions, paraphrasing, and by restating the problem.
- Learn several ways to actively engage and participate in meetings for different goals here.
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How do you succeed as a woman in a male-dominated workplace? One of the top challenges of working in a male-dominated industry is to make yourself heard in meetings.
The first time my mother experienced the challenge of being heard in meetings in a male-dominated team was soon after he started her first job. Decades later she still recalls the frustration of this moment.
She had just earned an Engineering Ph.D. and she was the only woman and the youngest professor in her department at the university. Most of her peers did not have a Ph.D.
At a department meeting, she quickly and confidently offered a solution to the problem that the head of the meeting presented. No one listened to her. The meeting went on and at the end of the meeting one of the older male colleagues presented the same solution and others applauded him for his genius idea. This is a classical situation many women in male-dominated workplaces face.
The person presiding the meeting then said that my mother had already shared that solution at the start of the meeting. The others in the room ignored that statement and kept going as if nothing had happened.
Being smart, having confidence about her intelligence and abilities, and speaking up decisively in meetingswere not enough to earn the respect from others at work.
I asked her what her top recommendations for young ambitious women in a male-dominated work environment were. These are the 5 tips she shared.
Being smart, having confidence about her intelligence and abilities, and speaking up decisively in meetingswere not enough to earn the respect from others at work.
Build one-on-one connections
People are more likely to listen to you and to value what you have to say in meetings with multiple people if you already have a meaningful positive relationship with them. People support those they like and trust.
That is why it helps to focus on building rapport one-on-one, so that you already have a personal connection with many of the people in the meeting.
Ask questions to lead to your perspective
Another way to get others to listen to you is to include them in the discovery of the solution by leading them to your answer with smart open-ended questions.
That way, others feel more engaged with the solution because they feel partly responsible for it. It also allows you to avoid missing any blind spots that could cause others to disengage, and disagree with someone who is more senior or has more experience than you.
Often leaders use targeted questions to guide their teams in the right direction. It won’t take away your merit because people will realize how thoughtful and intentional your questions were.
Build on what others say instead of opposing them
When you oppose, disagree, or share a contrarian view, people are more likely to ignore you if it makes them feel less smart or less powerful.
Instead, build on what other people say in meetings by supporting something they said while calling out their name and adding to it with “and.” For example, “Howard, what a great perspective on incorporating statistics, and we could also …”
Rephrase and complement
Another variation of building and adding is to rephrase and add. By rephrasing you make them feel heard and understood. Then they would also be more likely to reciprocate by listening to what you have to say.
For example, you could say “Let me make sure I understand, you said …” Once they confirm, then you complement it with your perspective “and I’d add that … because …”
Restate the problem before sharing the solution
Another method of capturing people’s attention before you share a solution is to restate the common problem that everyone is trying to solve.
Once everyone agrees with the question, you can naturally build some suspense towards what you have to say next.
For example, “From what I understand our main challenge is to reduce cost by 5% in the next 10 days, right? If that is the problem we are looking to solve, we could …”
If you are the only woman on the team then building rapport and creating stronger transitions to your perspectives can help you be heard by male colleagues who may not be willing to listen to you initially.
Find out more about how to engage others in meetings for every occasion with this free guide “15 actionable ways to participate more in meetings” here.
Building rapport and creating stronger transitions to your perspectives can help you get male colleagues to listen to you.
Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter “Nice With Limits” for tips and inspiration for confidence at work and to boost your career!
We take your email seriously and will never sell or share it.
Summary
Here are 5 ways young women can make themselves heard in male-dominated meetings.
- Build one-on-one connections
- Ask questions to lead others to your perspective
- Build on what others say instead of opposing them
- Rephrase and complement with “and”
- Restate the problem before sharing the solution
“By rephrasing you make them feel heard and understood. Then they would also be more likely to reciprocate by listening to what you have to say.” – Assertive Way
What challenges do you face when you are the only woman or one of the few women in a meeting?